Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
