i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
