Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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