Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
