Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
