i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
