ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
