somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
