chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
