i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
