Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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