i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
