if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
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security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
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Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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