i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
