I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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