My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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