im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I want a musical about memes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from