I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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