I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
