he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
