Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
