too bad you live with your parents still
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
