they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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