im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
