i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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