Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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