i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
