Your tits are I can't wait for
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
