Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
