guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
