you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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