I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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