my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
