I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
accomplished twins. life is a go
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
