Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize