You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
