i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
