Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
