Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
