If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize