We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
