Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
