Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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