Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
