No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
