Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
