Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
