He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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