just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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