Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
