Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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