We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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