Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
