will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
