Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
