idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
