i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
