I don't think brook has ever known best
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My feet surprised me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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