Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize