He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
