she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
we should paint friendship bongs
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
