did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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