420 ftw
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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