bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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