im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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