I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
