Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
