I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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