So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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