I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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